Most people think that those who got into addiction actually choose to be where they are. Experts say that nobody obviously wants to be addicted to something so bad that they would need to go to rehab. Their mental state drove them to it and it didn’t just cause any pain towards themselves, but also to the people around them such as family and friends.
In fact, one of the worst effects of addiction is by breaking bonds from people they care about. There are some who think they could never repair any relationship that they have because of their addiction, but what they don’t realize is that it may not be the same, but it can always be repaired.
These are even compared to the Japanese tradition known as kintsugi, wherein people add gold to the broken vases and pots. People say that the gold spaces are there not just to put it back together, but lets it become stronger than it used to be.
It represents how people may show scars, but it just an indication that they have managed to survive since the past is now a part of history. There may be times that people who were once part of your life no longer want to become part of your life now after your addiction, but that’s okay, they may come around once they realize you’re only human.
For now, here are a couple of things you may try when it comes to fixing relationships with some family and friends, that has been ruined by addiction.
Rebuilding While Recovering
Most psychologists believe that the best way for people who are recovering from addiction to start getting better is by having family and friends who would be there for them. However, they may be a little difficult for some since addiction is considered a chronic disease that leads to ruined relationships. In fact, according to the American Society of Addiction Medicine, more than 20 million people in the United States are suffering from substance abuse disorder.
Not every single one of these people has a family to lean on to because some of them have lost people they value because of their addiction. What every recovering addiction patient must first understand is that everything is a process, and that includes rebuilding relationships.
It may take a while for some people to be open again when they get hurt by someone who had an addiction, there are times that the bridge can no longer be rebuilt, but only time will tell. Trust must be earned, especially if it has been broken tons of times.
Communicate In A Healthy Manner
In any situation, communication is always the key, however, for someone who is recovering, they would need a different approach when it comes to this matter. It is a part of the recovery process of a person to learn ways how to effectively communicate with other people.
They would learn how to not just open their eyes to listen but also their minds to broaden up their thoughts and be able to have a much deeper understanding of what the other person is saying.
They would be able to learn how issues and conflicts can actually be resolved without the need to feel guilty or make someone feel guilty.
Be Patient and Live In The Present
No matter what happened, no one can ever change the past. That is why experts believe that it is not only the person who had an addiction is the one recovering, but also their loved ones. It is best for both parties to be patient with one another and just give each other time. This will actually be a part of the recovering communication process of the person involved.
It is also very important for both parties to try and live in the moment instead of always getting into the memories of the past. The person who had an addiction will most likely try to move on and start a new but slow routine, which is why it is also best for the family and friends to understand this process and have them be ready for a new beginning. It may take a long while but as long as both parties are willing to work things out then it will eventually happen. It is a two-way process that everyone must learn how to accept.